Its been a while i posted,I even forgot my password at one time......I wasn't bothered,though cos I consider this an online diary since nobody hardly visits...so I can post as sporadically as I so desire..albeit without revealing my identity.

I suffered a major loss late last year and it totally destabilized me,infact I'm yet to get my bearing...I lost someone really close to me after a long battle with cardiovascular ailment,diabetes and the likes..I watched the person wither away on the hospital bed,I watched a grown up adult reduce to a little kid (yea,it was that bad)....

A friend lost his mum some years back and when the news got to me and a mutual friend,she went totally ballistic and I was sad,yeah but I just looked at the other girl going all sentimental and stuff and the following conversation ensued,

Me; "babe,did u know Tobi'(not real name)s mum?"
She;"No"
Me; "then why are crying like you are member of their family? Me that have known them for over 8yrs sef didn't cry reach you that just met him last year......lemme hear word,abeg.

I'll never forget the look she gave me.....three yearslater,I called her and retracted my words,I called him and I apologized profusely for not feeling his pain(his mum died of cancer).now I have firsthand experience on feeling people's pain when it involves death and terminal diseases.its no fun at all and I never wish it not even on my worst enemy.

Sometimes I wonder why people have to suffer so much pain,eventually pass away,money wasted,drugs wasted,all the stress,worries and stuff.I saw a story and a pic of a girl who died of cancer of the bone,she was so deformed and I just imagined how much pain she must have been going through,all the pain her condition must have caused her family and I felt sad.

The word of God tells us God doesn't desire for to die early or live in illness rather we are meant to live in good health and. Vitality so what went wrong with the plan??what food or drink ain't we ought to be consuming in order avoid these ailments since God said we can eat and drink as we like?....questions,questions and more questions!not one answer!

I have no answer too,all I no I prefer people age and die peacefully in their sleep or something than go through so much and still end up dying....