Ultimate Search........

I lie on this bed and am starring at the ceiling,thots all jumbled up in my head,worries clogging my heart....and am wondering where to start this from,wondering if its appropriate to write this here??
But then I realise,WTH,it my page....I guess I will start the very beginning!!

Its funny how everything looks so simple,easy and well-laid out as teenager...you see the future as a place that fits itself into the right place as times goes by..how wrong!when the bubble bursted is the mystery...when did the fairy tale end?when did the plans changed?when did the years roll by?...*sighs*
Its was fun being highly sought after amongst my peers,it gave me so much thrill to watch older guys/men chasing me all over and me fronting and enjoying the attention,love and marriage seem so like a million years away....do I regret now?I dunno!!what if I had started a relationship with an older guy and he had totally messed me up??!...what if I did and am married by now with a kid??!...well,now I'll never know!
I finally fall in love after all the voltron(strong inpenetratable) years and alas,it was all wrong!!(Or was it??)He was handsome,very nice,very gentle,physically he was any girl's dream,any mother's pride but it was all wrong from the start,too intense,too much emotions,too much pain,too much squabbles till the split then the heal up process began with so much dos and don'ts note on the next guy....

Its been 3yrs..the next guy seems elusive....like he's intentionally hiding... The next guy..Mr right or Mr available,should I marry a man I love or that loves me more?should I marry a man I can have a hold on so I can control?should I change the kinda guys I like to the kind I can be safe with?do I marry man with money and love would come later?etc...and the questions keep piling...

I have met all sorts,I have gone on so many dates,the catcalls and admiration doesn't dwindle but why is my MAN refusing to find me??does he realise am growing older by the seconds?where on earth is he?etc...then the grand question how do I know its him when he comes??
All these questions bugs my daily existence,beneath the smile,the humour,the gaiety synonymous with me,the worries lie,the pain eats at my heart..everytime I get invited to a friends wedding or introduction,mine skips a bit den the famed smile takes over!..the joy of d bride-to-be is contagious..when will I share mine with others?

Some months ago,I share a gist about a dude trying to get fresh...its official now,he likes me!!..how I feel?....I dunno!!its complicated!!

Considering my age and all,its not a wise relationship to dabble into..why?ok>1.he's jus a year or 2yrs older than me
2.Although done with school,He's still writing professional exams and he doesn't work yet.3.he doesn't really fit into the kind of dude I want..

Now the clause is I actually do like him!!I think about him constantly in the last couple of days...*whispering*i kissed him and I liked it!!!!ok,its not konji-induced likeness!
He's the first person am kissing since my ex and I actually feel a tingle in my body,I didn't wanna stop!I kissed him public too and I was didn't feel no shame,I just felt complete.....hmmmm

But the question is should I chill here where my heart feels so peace and happiness?....chilling here means patience,means I can't be in a rush to get married,means starting from the scratch with only hope and hardwork as partner....
Or should I keep moving,something better will def be available up front...maybe my spec,a relatively comfortable dude,ready to settle later in the year or next year..

Now,what if I move and I don't find nothing but sweet nothings and empty promises.....
What if I meet a better,made guy but even though I don't love him,I like him atleast and so long as I get married soonest even if I have to live in misery for life or wind up divorced in a couple of years...

What if I stay right at this bus stop,make it my last..give it my all and when its all set and done,he regards me as too old to settle with.....

Finally,what if I stay here and work at it and it all works in the end albeit a bit late.....

So much questions,not one answer.....
Why isn't there some sort of brochure to come with this search?why isn't there like a life coach or something?!

Exactly how do I manage to still wake up and laugh and go about my usual business considering this weight on my mind??

I guess its the strenght from within and the promise of the author and finisher of my faith who says "He will never forsake me""all things shall work together for me because I Love Him"


Xoxo

Pleased to meet me.......

Pleased to meet me.......

Randomly random........

Its been awhile I blogged....I ve been so busy n all....


Thanks to everyone who took time to visit n read!thanks!

Also,to the person who gave me the advice on my layout,thanks!.....(Noted)

I really wish I can blog everyday,I really do.... but typing can be so tiresome especially when one has had a long n tiring day....

I got so much I need 2 put here....but first,I want whoever is reading to meet whoisblogging!!

Facts about me: COMing Up..


Xoxo.

Seriously............

Reading thru my friend's note on facebook where she was lamenting about not finding a spouse n all d deceit men display in her various relationship!so I Attended a friend's introduction 2day n it got me in a reflective mood.about d irony of dis world!!!
Ok,d bride-2-b is my very good friend n her mum chased her outta d house bout a year ago,said she shld go n marry!its funny but wat if d guy she gone 2 co-habitate wi does not marry her??I hear different stories bout relationships n although de don scare me but I jus wonder!sum people sy de r no men available but I believe de r men available as well as women 2 are available but de r very few marriageable materials available!!!!

D rate at which everyone is clamouring 4 dis wedding thingy ain't funny at all!!I mean,even 21yrs old chick r crazy bout it!ladies of nowadays will take any crap jus 2 bear a man's name n make her friends buy asoebi!!!

I ve come 2 realise dat although love is essential in a union but de r sum basic issues love can never simplify rather it will complicate it!!me I wan 2 marry oh but am not ready 2 compromise!!!selfish I may sound but I no wat am worth n who am worth n I wouldn't settle 4 less!

I guess I ve vented enuf!!

Xoxo.....

Frenemies............

She is my friend but she is forever criticizing every move or action I take,I always accept dis in good faith outwardly whilst sulkin inside(I no,am a coward,I no!)I later realise dis is her exact attitude 2wards other people!!!its she who would see d fault in everytin dat anyone does so tay,wen we go weddings 2gether she go begin redesign bride's dress 4 where we siddon!na u no pass?!abegi,lemme hear word,madam knowall!

Anyway,d one dat affects me is she is supposedly my good friend n all but she always searchin 4 avenues 2 do a put-down number on me,at first I tot it was unintentional but I later realised it was a way of makin feel little n na only me 2 de treat lik dat!I don blame her sha,wen mesef will b maintain n behavin like mumu 4 everybody!I been de nice b4 but now?!WAR!!

Another crazy attitude of hers is formin carin as in serious one oh!meanwhile all na lie!she would always prode u 4 gist bout ur relationship if u start givin her happy tales,she find way 2 change matter,eithering by fillin u wi her perfect relationship or she would start all dis cunny,rhetorical analysis of men n der unpredictability but if u begin lament bout ow bobo no de treat u well,she is ready 2 hear n all!

Infact I am tired n I ve decided 2 take d bull by d horn!yes,I ve vexed.......!I ve labelled her as my frenemy so if she dares make any attempt at a put-down or BS talk,I counter wi 100% alacrity n extra-painful jibs!!mean,I no but trust me,she is meaner!

SYL!
Xoxo......

Na by force!!!

Yes!!na wa 4 sum she-males oh!dis issue is a scenario I always hear or witness all d time n it neva cease 2 amaze me!

D idea of flinging ursef on a dude who don give a fuck bout u!!I mean,ow do u plan 2 tell ur daughter 2 take pride in herself??!!mak we leave dat one first!

Scenario 1:gal goes 2 visit her pal,de r a bunch of guys der wi friend's bro,one of d guy gets fresh n in less dan a week,u r already labellin ursef n checkin ur compatibility via FLAME n bragging bout him 2 ur friends!den he frees u,u wan die!

Scenario 2;gal meets boy neutrally,exchange contacts,funny enough ur calls 2 him every 4hrs always coincide wi his story of ow he was jus about 2 ring u?WTF!!

Oya,let's talk,do u no if der r more dan 2guys in a place n a gal comes around or walk by,de is a 99percent probability of one of d guys makin a move on d babe?its jus a guy thing!don ask ow I no!!!do u also realise if u do d chasing,den ur essence is lost on him?I no dat 2!!!do u no except in a rare case,d guy who hits on u amidst other boys only wants 2 practise his toasting skills n he has no intention 4 u???u no no?!ok,now u no!!!

Imagine dis chic oh,dis guy asked her out n in less dan 2days,all her family don hear,so she agreed but dis dude was not in d mood 4 her so he jaboed her 2month later without even touching her n d only person left dat dis gal never call 2 help am beg na Obama!!she wan die der ni sha!okunrin tan l'aiye ni!well,dude say d chic na "olobe" aka rundown,wrong gal!!I jus weak bcos she no need am,ok!she no 2 make am like dat but still on d matter,she no bad,na good package she need!me I jus bow 2 d babe!

Seriously,we ladies need 2 learn 2 place value on ourselves n our emotions,yes,emotions!don waste unnecessary attention over a guy who don want u instead keep ursef occupied,rmbr always dat if one no do,another go do infact do die sef!abi!wen u wan begin f-up unto guy matter,conjure images of d future n if after doing so,u still don feel like u wan fuck up den imagine ur daughter in dat scenario n follow d advise wey u go give am!na true now,abi?

anyway,I don talk my own,I wan chop small!

Xoxo....

Valentine............

Everywhere I turn 2 now dats all I hear!kpsheeeeewwww.......must de make so much noise about it as if its christmas??!!abi wetin sef?is not as if de r even showing true n sincere love sef!!as d guys r planning 2 spend d day n nit wi only a sure babe(gal wey go play ball),na so d babes 2 r planning 2 jabo d bolos 4 d sure guys(d mugus wey go drop)!!!!

By monday morning now I no we r gonna b hearing is;
Me;hmmmm,I no u rocked ur val wella*wink*
She;which kain d bastard didn't show up n his phone was switched off all through!
Me,I go take people laff die,I de wait!!its not like am a killjoy or anytin of such,am jus fed up of d BS!de go on n on bout it lik de r genuine meanwhile we all sabi d scores!

By d way,2 all genuine lovers n partners,Y'all don need no val 2 profess or proclaim ur affections 2 ur loved ones,do it everyday!!!!!as for sunday,go 2 church n give an extra large offering!!n all val lovers,well,go 4 it,buy gbese,do pass ursef n finally get jaboed!!!lol...

Wat am I gonna b doing on sunday???hmmmmmm.playin n laffing as usual!!

Cheers!

werin de do dem sef!!

People can be really funny sha!!u will jus see dem on d internet,sharing all dis fantasies bout demselves..wat my biz,abi??!ok,I will tell u!its all rit if u making movies bout ursef in ur head n among ur friends but I tak serious offense wen u begin 2 act d movie 4 facebook!!!yes!facebook!dats my main beef 2nit!


You no,I sabi sum people wen e b say dem no le at all as in dem no even de try arall,so tay dem go add me as friends n I go accept wen I c mutual friends only 4 me 2 later discover say its one kain rundown dude or wrong babe,wtf!!kpsheewwwww!!

Another trend on facebook is boasting under guise of gistin or sharing testimonies!!I no wen d site begin resemble church!!I always say if fb was not discovered by naija folks,madmen go don plenty 4 street!!

Sum people can jus b yarning rot,de feel like one kain false philosopher!u wen I no say simple sentence u no fit compose,u go come fb de write grammer,de give stupid advise n silly tots!!who cares wat is on ur mind!

Facebook is 2 keep in touch wi friends n share fun post!I wish de can jus put an end 2 all der crap!dem no de c der oyinbo counterpart??!!even if dem never go,at keast dem de add dem as friend!!!!

Ok!!!breathe in,breathe out*exhales,shake my head,stretch n yawn*........,now am good!I don empty am!!

Xoxo....

Sunday...............

I feel so guilty bout not going 2 church,2 think I actually got up,ad my bath n got set to prepare but unbelievably....everytin in my wardrobe seemed mismatched!!...*iro ni*...well,I hear u murmur.but seriously,I didn't no wat happened so I decided 2 stay home,study n meditate on my bible n pray,I hope God won't b 2 busy wi dos in church sha n He can answers me!


So am here I mit as well yarn small,abi!been reading a whole lotta blogs n sum's been quite interesting,sum boring,sum verry interesting,der a couple of stuffs I noticed n de convinced me dat am gonna jus love bout blogging!
1.Free use of my native language;yes,am a yoruba gal n verry proud of my ijesha heritage so am gonna love inserting my mother tongue in my post!

2.Pidgin is also allowed!ok,so ve been branded as a random babe n really if bein real makes me random or razz,so be it!so I fit incorporate small abi?

3.Des no limit so I can rant n ramble till eternity!!its my profile!

4.Anonymity;I can write bout anytin,anybady n any place n I can do it kodedly!...ok,u can find out but if u can prove it goodluck!!

5.Na my personal diary!!

So des dis guy I ve known 4 a while now,u no,not 2 close but at least we sabi ourselves rch fb,dats close now?ehen so sha he calls me up yesterday,surprised!... cos previous calls ve been purposeful na so wen hin ask weda I de lag,hin con talk say hin go con check me today,shock catch me oh n my antenna begin de beep n I sabi one chic wey de die 4 am,ok,de r datin but I was gisted dat he is not jus in2 her!!anyway sha,I de wait.........

Anyway sha,jus wanted 2 type sha n I ve!!!

Xoxo....

New year,full steez!!!

So I typed dis very long post plus gist plus everytin n can u imagine wat happened??I slept off!!......infact I was seriously vexing when I woke up n discovered d page,long gone n dead!....d dilemna of mobile web!I can't even wish 4 a laptop 4 now sef so am stuck n it sucks!

Hello,folks!sorry 4 d outburst but it jus had 2 leave my system.

So,am back on dis blog n dis time,4 good 2!!!am so bored wi n tired of facebook!not even wi all d crap I ve 2 see n read der all d time!yes,crap...u go see all dis razzoids(yelz,I labelled dem)wantin 2 keep us abreast of all d BS in their miserable life,dem go trowey air-biscuit(incase u don no;FART!),dem go tell us,d one wey de vex me pass sef na wen dem jus con de take pishure of all d mundane tins in their environs n kill our sight wi dem!tseeeiiiiwwwwww.........ah nor blame dem!

Anyway,I jus rented dis 8-room self-styled terraced duplex in blogsville so I aint goin nowhere again infact I de house,full ground remain n amma b treating u guys 2 plenny boring but spicey stories,no-holds-barred kinda gist!gist boku now but as I de jam am,I go fill una in!

jus feel free 2 come over over n over again 2 read gist(serious gbeborun oh!)Bcos dis babe is gonna b feeding u so much info!!!by d way,pls bring ur own drinks n snacks along oh(or did u see kitchen or bar 4 my duplex spec?lol),anyway visit,read,u don necessarily ve to comment but if u do,berra!tell a friend,share a gist,wateva!jus make sure say u nor take eye delete any word comot 4 here dat is 2 say read n leave 4 others 2!

By d way,if u read anytin wey seem close 2 home n u can prove it???well,have ur solicitors call mine!(Yelzz,zolishitors!!)We shall meet in court!or simply do me a mail!!

Gat 2 go now!des serious gathering 2 b done n I also ve 2 meet my neighbours in blogsville,u no,make friends n every.....

So till larer,I Gat 2 go..........

Xoxo.